Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
