Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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