Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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