im drinking this country out of the recession.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
