And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
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