3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
