I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
All of them.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.