Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle