I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
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