D3 body, D1 cock
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
