is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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