I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
