READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
honey bunches of taint.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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