I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
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