Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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