I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
