No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
