So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize