Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
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