seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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