from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Did we literally take a cab across the street
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
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