Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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