Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
My dick has a subreddit
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
