Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
No subtext here. People are naked.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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