maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
