I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
