What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
