who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize