forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
