nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
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