Fuck appropriateness.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
