im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
