OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
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