At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize