god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Randomize
