Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
