News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
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