He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
