Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
