I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
