My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
