That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Is it because I queefed?
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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