Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Randomize
