she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
