thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
