My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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