I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
love makes seman taste better
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
