if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Randomize
