This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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