I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
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