He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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