so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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