He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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