I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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