my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
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